10 Things That Happen on NYE

1.  When that clock strikes Midnight, i'm treating my body like a temple, well after i eat all the junk in my house, then maybe after that. But probs not.

2. Flocks of selfie taking girls attempting to achieve 'squad goals' will roam around the dance floor in what looks like a badly formed conga line.

3. God, this is sh*t. How over rated is NYE?! Pass that Vodka.

4. Who am i gonna kiss?! OMG I'm the 'Ross' of NYE. I'm so ugly, ugh f*ck it i'm fine. I'm not fine who am i kidding. **texts ex**.

5. You'll get 'Jools Holland Anxiety'.

6. Someone will cry.

7. No one will know the words to 'Auld Lang Syne'.

8. You'll turn aggressively competitive to get a taxi.

9. Every party seems to have DJ Dave splurting 'Shout Out To The Ladies' after every record.

10. I should have gone to Times Square New York, i can't afford a Jagerbomb right now but sure a flight to NYC would be no problem.


5 Things Not To Do On A Date

1. No texting you look boring, rude & just plain simple. Even if you've seen train spotters having more fun than you are at that moment, keep it away girl. Group-chat can wait. 


2. Don't get drunk - like have a couple of cocktails, after all you're celebrating the fact that someone hopefully sees you as a half decent human, but don't do a Lindsay Lohan, it's not attractive & you'll most likely end up being cringe & falling into a taxi.

3. Don't give him the 21 questions - he's not in a job interview & you're not an Alan Sugar. Stick to a maximum 5 questions & the rest will come naturally if you've got a spark!

4. Don't act like a Princess, sure you may be beautiful, your weave may touch the floor but girl, if you show an attitude there won't be a date number 2. 

5. Don't play games - i know i know we are all guilty, we all try push buttons to test the reaction but just enjoy & try not to show your inner psycho...please, for all of womenkind.