1. When that clock strikes Midnight, i'm treating my body like a temple, well after i eat all the junk in my house, then maybe after that. But probs not.
2. Flocks of selfie taking girls attempting to achieve 'squad goals' will roam around the dance floor in what looks like a badly formed conga line.
3. God, this is sh*t. How over rated is NYE?! Pass that Vodka.
4. Who am i gonna kiss?! OMG I'm the 'Ross' of NYE. I'm so ugly, ugh f*ck it i'm fine. I'm not fine who am i kidding. **texts ex**.
5. You'll get 'Jools Holland Anxiety'.
6. Someone will cry.
7. No one will know the words to 'Auld Lang Syne'.
8. You'll turn aggressively competitive to get a taxi.
9. Every party seems to have DJ Dave splurting 'Shout Out To The Ladies' after every record.
10. I should have gone to Times Square New York, i can't afford a Jagerbomb right now but sure a flight to NYC would be no problem.
HAPPY NEW YEAR BLONDE JUNKIES XOX